In a Funk
I recently heard parenting described in three stages. Caretaker (you do everything), Coach (you show them/encourage them as they move forward), Consultant (you give advice when asked).
I think I liked caretaker best, it was certainly the easiest mentally and emotionally. Coaching is hard. Coaching sounds easy – I mean who doesn’t like encouraging their kids? What I forgot is that sometimes the players don’t want to do what the coach says, especially when they see other parents/coaches taking a different approach with their kids (generally I am saying no when they are saying yes). I find myself re-examining my decisions all the time.
Consulting, I haven’t learned that yet.
Parenting has consumed me lately, almost more than when my kids were little. Add in little stuff like my mini-van having 3 CDs stuck in its player, a uncertain summer schedule, politics consuming the airwaves, no writing, and I am in a funk.
Here’s a song that helps me move forward.
You'll learn the consulting from experience. Don't worry!
I think figuring out how much to say/not say and when to say it are tricky. Mine are in their early 20's so I know of what I speak : )
Coaching is A LOT harder than caretaking in my opinion… the decisions are so much more important than whether they should eat french fries three meals in a row…. heading into the consulting… I'll let you know in about 2 years what i think about that…
I’d say I’m a fairly good caretaker, too. Granted my wife is earning the money and I’m raising our son—a total opposite from what’s expected of me in society as a male. As a coach—well, I’d say I’m pretty good there too. Only problem is, how do you get a six year old to do what you ask of him?
Consulting isn’t my area at all. Although, this past school year, I’ve had numerous mothers ask me for advice on a variety of parenting subjects. Whether or not they used any of my advice isn’t known. But it sure made me feel good on the inside.