It's summer and it's hot (surprise!) here in North Carolina. Heat brings a slowness to my life that I both dislike and welcome. I always think my summer will be a time to be both productive and adventurous at home, because it's slower at work and the kids are home from school. I'll try new recipes, work out more, read a lot, write on my website, clean out my desk, reorganize my office, plan for the fall, enjoy a lazy time at home to read and relax - you get the picture.
But sometimes it doesn't work out that way. This summer brought multiple changes that did are not energizing me at all. My work, while quieter because the students are gone, is not slow because we are reorganizing the department structure and implementing a new database. Our eldest moved out into his own apartment and the middle child spent nearly five weeks out of the country for a study abroad trip. Our youngest got her first "real" job and is frequently gone evenings. There has been no steady "rhythm".
My inclination is to call this summer a bust and to feel guilty for not being/doing what I planned. I'm not writing regularly like I planned. I'm not reading as much I usually do. I'm not exercising. I'm almost experiencing empty nest syndrome, even though we aren't yet "empty nesters". I didn't follow through on a bible study I signed up with. I am mentally tired from changes and uncertainties at work. It feels like summer is practically over, even though it's not.
However, I am reminded that the only way to get me to a new destination is to take a new path - and being a creature of habit I rarely take a new path unless all other paths are blocked. So today, I'm going to do what's in front of me (laundry, mop the floor, cut up the watermelon), enjoy the moment, and do my best not to dwell on what I think I should have done or been so far this summer.
Enjoy the moment - no guilt, no "shoulds".