I am in the stage of life where I have friends and family losing spouses. Sometimes under tragic circumstances, others to illness, and always sad. Seeing them go through this, and knowing my father-in-law was only 64 when he died, has made me more aware that I have no guarantees of a long life ahead with my husband. This does not mean that I live in fear or with a sense of impending loss, but I do choose (usually) to put aside the petty annoyances (does the television really have to be that loud?) and enjoy, cherish, and hold on to the present day.<\/p>\n

With a good chance that he will pass before me and I will face life without him, I have contemplated what might happen next. A common theme that I seem to hear is that a person “deserves to be happy” which apparently can only happen with a significant other in their life. Multiple movies show widows and widowers, and divorcees finding their deserved happiness once more. Elsa and Fred<\/b><\/i><\/a>; And So It Goes<\/i><\/b><\/a>; Something’s Gotta Give<\/i><\/b><\/a>; and Grumpy Old Men<\/i><\/b><\/a> are just a few that I’ve watched and enjoyed.<\/p>\n

A close cousin in our family lost her husband a little over a year ago. It was a long and difficult journey as she lost him a little at time over several years to a debilitating disease. Within six months of his passing the nudges were already being made that she should think about dating. Why? If she chooses to do that of course I will support her, but why do others assume she needs someone else in her life to feel complete, to be happy?<\/p>\n

When I tell others that I have no intention of marrying again or finding a significant other should my husband predecease me, I get the knowing nods (like, we’ll see about that). Maybe I will change my mind, but what’s wrong with that intention? Can’t I be content with one great love in my life?<\/p>\n

I wonder if that thought of needing to have a “significant other” comes from a subconscious fear that we are not “enough” in and of ourselves?<\/p>\n

I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know that I get to choose what’s right for me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1989 I am in the stage of life where I have friends and family losing spouses. Sometimes under tragic circumstances, others to illness, and always sad. Seeing them go through this, and knowing my father-in-law was only 64 when he died, has made me more aware that I have no guarantees of a long life …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7zbKo-GO","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2654"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2654"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2654\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}