It was cold, wet, and rainy today. The rain is about gone, but the cold is here for a few days and getting colder. People delighted in telling me today that it would be 19 degrees in the morning. I think they are wrong, I think it’s only supposed to be 24 -and 19 the following morning. But at those temps – 5 degrees won’t make much difference in how it feels when I go out to the car.<\/p>\n

I feel a sense of panic trying to creep up on me in spite of the plans I made earlier about how I would approach the holidays this year. Thanksgiving is next week and I don’t have a menu made, or even know for sure who is coming and when lunch\/dinner will be. And then it will be Christmas.<\/p>\n

Last year I felt like I missed part of Christmas. The mood didn’t seem right, and I hate feeling like there is a checklist to be gone over and success means checking all the items on the list. I want to enjoy, revel in, embrace the holidays. In spite of my intent – it’s hanging around the edges threatening me again.<\/p>\n

I know the “Reason for the Season” and also the “true meaning of Christmas” – but at the risk of sounding shallow, selfish, and unreasonable – I want more.<\/p>\n

I don’t need stuff. But I want my family to want <\/i>to be together. I want my children to come give me hugs unexpectedly, to know what kind of scent I like, I want to know what they<\/i> want. I don’t want to give them money for Christmas. I want everyone to like what I give them and to know<\/i> they like it. I’m not talking about spending a lot of money on people (that’s just not going to happen this year), but to connect with each other with fun and pleasure. I want everyone to set aside their own pet peeves and at least fake it in front of mom<\/i>. I want grace and mercy to abound. I want everyone to give everyone else the benefit of the doubt. To assume the best.<\/p>\n

Now, lest you think my family is a big, brawling, hate-mongering, fighting bunch – I need to explain that is not so. They are sweet, loving, and for the most part play nice with each other when they are together. The problem is . . . mom (me) knows too much. I know what drives each of them nuts about the others. I know what actions, what conversations, what attitudes are often triggers for others. I know who’s stewing under the surface, I know who thinks the other one is being rude, I’m sure there is plenty I don’t know – but I know plenty<\/i>. And I feel responsible for it all.<\/p>\n

I want to fix it all – even when I know that is not in any way either my responsibility, or even possible for me to do.<\/p>\n

I can’t make any of this happen. But I know what I can do. I can do all the things I want others to do. I can assume the best of others. I can set aside my own pet peeves. I can choose to let grace and mercy flow through me. I can act nice even when I don’t want to. I can make the extra effort to make someone else happy.<\/p>\n

My Christmas wish is to be the person I’d like others to be. I think it just got a little warmer . . .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It was cold, wet, and rainy today. The rain is about gone, but the cold is here for a few days and getting colder. People delighted in telling me today that it would be 19 degrees in the morning. I think they are wrong, I think it’s only supposed to be 24 -and 19 the …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7zbKo-HJ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2711"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2711"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2711\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2711"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2711"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2711"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}