Like many others, I have been reading snippets about Amy Chua, the currently famous “Tiger Mom”. First I read David Brooks<\/a> of the New York Times in his column and then an article by Annie Murphy Paul in Time Magazine<\/a> followed by an article by Bill Powell about his “Tiger Daughter”<\/a>. Interesting reading. I admit I have not read her book, and probably won’t (but you never know).<\/p>\n As a mother of three (ages 17, 14, and 11) in America, I have always wanted my children to do better than myself. I think that is probably the goal of most of parents. From the ages of my children you can see we have had to deal with the “everyone gets a trophy just for participating” and the “you get an A because all the components of the assignment were there”. On the other hand, one child did not get into “AL” (gifted & talented, accelerated learner, advanced learner, there are many names for this program) because he didn’t test well. Another child got in, but hated it because it just meant extra homework and missing regular class time. The third child got in, but so have over half of her classmates.<\/p>\n Our children have gotten many mixed messages about the importance of doing their best. The older they get the more it appears that there is no real reward (at least not in their world) for working the hardest. Case in point, a couple of years ago an unnamed high school student had a summer English assignment that involved reading and annotating a book. Learning to annotate was a hard assignment for him, but he did it. The first day of class another student sat down beside him and asked to borrow a highlighter. He had not read the book, so proceeded to skim and randomly highlight passages in the book. The one who did the assignment during the summer got a C. The last minute highlighter got an A. The previously hard working student decided it wasn’t worth any extra effort from that time on.<\/p>\n I now have children who do their homework, and generally get decent grades. Occasionally one of them will have a teacher that inspires them to go above and beyond, but only occasionally.<\/p>\n I have no intention of judging Amy Chua and her parenting methods. But I do see her dedication to her girls. She’s the one who spent time reviewing their work, working on drills, keeping them practicing, and pushing them to their best. It didn’t originate from their teachers or the world around them.<\/p>\n