What should I be feeling? Should I be overcome with sadness? Should I still be angry with her for dying? Is it all no big deal?<\/div>\n

My parents and I have lived 600 miles apart for over 20 years. We settled into an easy relationship with visits back and forth a couple times a year and phone calls each month. Seemingly distant to some, but it was comfortable for us.<\/div>\n

My Mom and I had a good relationship. Was she the perfect Mom or I the perfect daughter? No. But while there are some things I would try and do differently given the chance (mostly calling more), I can truly say I have no regrets with my Mom.<\/div>\n

My Mom taught me many things (besides how to bake a cake and crochet). She taught me resilience and faithfulness. She was an example of plain old \u201cget through it\u201d when times are hard. I think that\u2019s why her death was a shock \u2013 she had survived so much (heart problems \u2013 had to be shocked back into rhythm twice, breast cancer \u2013 with two recurrences, lung problems, arthritis, fibromyalgia) that somehow I had come to believe she would live in this world forever.<\/div>\n

My daughter has taken to asking me if I will be here when she is old, or just the other night she asked if I would be alive when she has kids, since she\u2019s the youngest of my three children. We figured it up and when she\u2019s 24 (the age she suggested), I\u2019ll be 63 \u2013 so I felt pretty confident in assuring her that I would be around to be the grandmother to her children.<\/div>\n

So, how do I feel? I find that I still vacillate between sadness and acceptance. Most of the time life goes on and I honestly don\u2019t give it much thought. But at times, especially right now, I find myself easily brought to tears and my emotions seem a bit on edge. So, I guess it\u2019s a process and yes, I do miss my Mom \u2013 some days more than others. This Mother\u2019s Day will be a mixture of emotions \u2013 just like a woman.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mother\u2019s Day approaches, the first one after my mother\u2019s passing. It is a strange feeling not to be looking at cards and finding just the right one to get in the mail on time. Next month it will be a year. Strange how time goes on without our help. What should I be feeling? Should …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7zbKo-RP","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3337"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3337"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3337\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3337"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sheilascribbles.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}