Blended Families
The Brady Brides |
When I hear this term I generally think of remarriage and the “blending” of two families (multiple children and parents) developing into some sort of unit. Traditionally I think most people define it that way.
I have a new definition in my life. The blending of parents, as in my husband’s widowed mother and my widowed father. No I don’t mean they have any romantic interest in each other, but my father recently (as in last week) came to live in the same town with my brother and I. My mother-in-law has lived here all of my married life. I am well established in relationship and routine with her. My mother passed away almost three years ago, and my father has come up annually to visit, staying with my brother for generally six weeks. During that time he and my brother have been a part of holiday celebrations, Sunday lunches, and general get togethers. My mother-in-law has always been most welcoming to his inclusion.
Now my father lives here and we will be establishing a new type of relationship and routine. I am fortunate that my mother-in-law enjoys talking to my Dad and my Dad enjoys talking to her. They get along well and there is no “competition”.
I have a friend who is struggling with “blending” with her son’s wife’s family. They all live in the same town and unfortunately there is some “competition”. One family is extremely “hands-on” and practically lives in each other’s business and one is more independent and likes to be a part but definitely not smothering. After two years they still struggle. Watching it has made me really pay attention and take notes (and start praying hard about any future daughter-in-laws).
We all have “blended” families.
I love this post. I have now for a week been learning to live with a new type of blended family. My son who I had given up for adoption 35 years ago is now back in my life ( yes I am extremely happy) But now I have my ex who is his father also back in my life after 35 years. Talk about a strange blended family twist.
Blessings to you as you adjust to having your dad near by! With my son's upcoming wedding, we'll be blending a new 'girl' into the family. Great post.
What a great story. When I got married we had 8 parents- they were all divorced and remarried. At times it was more like a blender than blending. Actually, sometimes still. But we love them- it all works out somehow. 🙂 God bless!
That's great you will see your father more often. I guess I'm a rarity – no blending at all.
Siv, what a big change in your life! I can only imagine the swirl of emotion you have.
Better, have you read "It's Either Her or Me" by Ellie Scott Fisher? I found it very insightful.
Karen, your family sounds like a tv movie! Glad it all worked out. My husband has often said blended families are called that because it's a blender! You must be on the same wavelength.
Alex, come on, don't you both have/had parents to juggle? How about those siblings? You need some blending in your life for some true adventure!
In modern society, I think it's more common to have blended families then it is to not. It's a shame that your friend's family can't seem to come to a collaboration, because you would think that for the children they would be able to.
Sara
Just a quick comment on one of your other followers comments, Siv Maria. You are so lucky. My ex only found her mother after 51 years. Her mother had been miserable her whole life and when she eventually met Susan again in Ireland, it changed her whole life. No more guilt.
Great post Sheila. God bless both of you, Geoff.