It has been brought to my attention (somewhat painfully) that I have been lying to myself and to my children for some time. This realization came after some very honest and open conversations with my middle child. (Conversations I might add that happened very unexpectedly when I needed to give him a ride to an activity that I hadn’t planned on. With your kids you just never know when it’s going to be an important moment!)
The lie that I have told myself, and my children is that it doesn’t matter what they decide to do in life. The three criteria I have said mattered were:
1. Love what you do, be fulfilled in it – you should want to go to work every day.
2. Make enough money to provide for yourself (and your family).
3. Be honest and have integrity in what you do.
However, I now know that’s not true. I do hold some careers above others and I have, without meaning to, let my kids know that. It hurt deeply when my son told me he didn’t want to choose something (he’s thinking video game tester) that would embarrass me.
I am grateful that we can have open and honest dialogue, but boy sometimes it hurts. I still believe in those three criteria, but I’ve got to work on my own expectations. Growing, it never quits.